Failure
I'm tired and exhausted. It has been six months since I received my pocket money from my parents. When I asked, they refrained. I attempted the same question multiple times, but to no avail. In every sense as a student, I shall be provided the money. That's my right. I didn't mind for the fact that I wasn't paid for the first 5 months as I was doing my industrial training, generating sufficient money to pay for my rents, school fees, and pocket money. Surprisingly, I contributed the family a few thousand bucks as well. So, now I'm on my course for the final days in month six, and I was told that financially, they're not able to provide me the money for food. This is bad .real bad.
At times, I'm selfish. My dad is a bankrupt, my mum is the sole-breadwinner of my family. I felt sorry, but I felt worse for myself. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask to be born into this family. Perhaps, I did something awfully wrong in my past life. Or else, I don't deserve this. Knowing the fact that the current predicament of my family has been a long drawn affair for years, I chose not to understand their difficulties occasionally. I love my family, and I know they love me as well. But the love is often obstructed by money matter, causing inferno and catastrophe in the house from time to time. The love is there, but I just can't feel it anymore.
From the common point of view of the society, I may be deemed as the wrong party, being ignorant and stubborn. A grown up boy who doesn't understand life, what's the worth of me living in this world? From my point of view, the family is a total failure, spiritually and financially For the first time, I feel so unsecured. I worked as a contract staff in a bank for five month, but they assumed five years. Worst of all, they expect me to have saved sufficient bucks to start school. Mistakenly, they perceived me for overspending on unnecessary luxuries in life. But even so, wasn't I entitled to do so in order to compensate myself after a lengthy spell in the bank? They should count themselves lucky as I lightened up their burden by not asking money from them. But think of it, I'm only a student who works contract and give his parents the money he earns every month. So how on Earth is he going to have the quids to start school? This makes feel so tired to shoulder the burden of their dependency on me.
They might have did their best, but their best was just not good enough. I did my best, but my best was just not good enough either. I understand, but I choose not to understand. The same goes to them as well. My advice is, please make sure you have the money before you get married and have children. Your child doesn't deserve this, he/she doesn't have a choice, but you DO. Most importantly, you must be financially healthy and maintaining it for the rest of your life is a mandatory requirement. I have my rights as a student. I will do everything possible within my capability to resolve this in the very near future.
But for now, there's only a phrase to describe my family - Total Failure.
At times, I'm selfish. My dad is a bankrupt, my mum is the sole-breadwinner of my family. I felt sorry, but I felt worse for myself. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask to be born into this family. Perhaps, I did something awfully wrong in my past life. Or else, I don't deserve this. Knowing the fact that the current predicament of my family has been a long drawn affair for years, I chose not to understand their difficulties occasionally. I love my family, and I know they love me as well. But the love is often obstructed by money matter, causing inferno and catastrophe in the house from time to time. The love is there, but I just can't feel it anymore.
From the common point of view of the society, I may be deemed as the wrong party, being ignorant and stubborn. A grown up boy who doesn't understand life, what's the worth of me living in this world? From my point of view, the family is a total failure, spiritually and financially For the first time, I feel so unsecured. I worked as a contract staff in a bank for five month, but they assumed five years. Worst of all, they expect me to have saved sufficient bucks to start school. Mistakenly, they perceived me for overspending on unnecessary luxuries in life. But even so, wasn't I entitled to do so in order to compensate myself after a lengthy spell in the bank? They should count themselves lucky as I lightened up their burden by not asking money from them. But think of it, I'm only a student who works contract and give his parents the money he earns every month. So how on Earth is he going to have the quids to start school? This makes feel so tired to shoulder the burden of their dependency on me.
They might have did their best, but their best was just not good enough. I did my best, but my best was just not good enough either. I understand, but I choose not to understand. The same goes to them as well. My advice is, please make sure you have the money before you get married and have children. Your child doesn't deserve this, he/she doesn't have a choice, but you DO. Most importantly, you must be financially healthy and maintaining it for the rest of your life is a mandatory requirement. I have my rights as a student. I will do everything possible within my capability to resolve this in the very near future.
But for now, there's only a phrase to describe my family - Total Failure.
Hey, just dropping by to show some love and hope all is well with you. Well I don't know you personally, but I still feel like I can understand you regardless due to your imagination, the way you write and express yourself. Am wishing you the best for all the new ventures, that life has in store for you. Take care!
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