Nilco Syrup

The "Fall Asleep" Drug

Lately,

Health has never been good.

It's week 6 of school now,

and I haven't really enjoyed a good game of football.

The body's rusty.

Medicines and rests may be the alternative solutions,

but for how long this deterioration would last?

These drugs,

I love them so much.

They make me feel high,

feel numb,

feel sleepy.

The cost?

I'm so vulnerable to these negative repercussions.

They're the catalyst of my jiwang stature now ...

The onus of responsibility lies in me.

Very often,

I misuse Nilco syrup,

as a method to fall asleep.

Under various circumstances,

I'm deprived of my good night's sleep,

for a consecutive run of 6 week .....

I want my life back ...

Total Failure

Failure

I'm tired and exhausted. It has been six months since I received my pocket money from my parents. When I asked, they refrained. I attempted the same question multiple times, but to no avail. In every sense as a student, I shall be provided the money. That's my right. I didn't mind for the fact that I wasn't paid for the first 5 months as I was doing my industrial training, generating sufficient money to pay for my rents, school fees, and pocket money. Surprisingly, I contributed the family a few thousand bucks as well. So, now I'm on my course for the final days in month six, and I was told that financially, they're not able to provide me the money for food. This is bad .real bad.

At times, I'm selfish. My dad is a bankrupt, my mum is the sole-breadwinner of my family. I felt sorry, but I felt worse for myself. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask to be born into this family. Perhaps, I did something awfully wrong in my past life. Or else, I don't deserve this. Knowing the fact that the current predicament of my family has been a long drawn affair for years, I chose not to understand their difficulties occasionally. I love my family, and I know they love me as well. But the love is often obstructed by money matter, causing inferno and catastrophe in the house from time to time. The love is there, but I just can't feel it anymore.

From the common point of view of the society, I may be deemed as the wrong party, being ignorant and stubborn. A grown up boy who doesn't understand life, what's the worth of me living in this world? From my point of view, the family is a total failure, spiritually and financially  For the first time, I feel so unsecured. I worked as a contract staff in a bank for five month, but they assumed five years. Worst of all, they expect me to have saved sufficient bucks to start school. Mistakenly, they perceived me for overspending on unnecessary luxuries in life. But even so, wasn't I entitled to do so in order to compensate myself after a lengthy spell in the bank? They should count themselves lucky as I lightened up their burden by not asking money from them. But think of it, I'm only a student who works contract and give his parents the money he earns every month. So how on Earth is he going to have the quids to start school? This makes feel so tired to shoulder the burden of their dependency on me.

They might have did their best, but their best was just not good enough. I did my best, but my best was just not good enough either. I understand, but I choose not to understand. The same goes to them as well. My advice is, please make sure you have the money before you get married and have children. Your child doesn't deserve this, he/she doesn't have a choice, but you DO. Most importantly, you must be financially healthy and maintaining it for the rest of your life is a mandatory requirement. I have my rights as a student. I will do everything possible within my capability to resolve this in the very near future.

But for now, there's only a phrase to describe my family - Total Failure.

Smile

Wonder Smile

In a gloomy afternoon,

I sat myself in a kopitiam.

From a distance,

I saw an angel,

she smiled at me ....

and she was with another man.

Most of all,

she's beautiful ...

She caught my eyes,

her smile was sweet.

I only dared to have a glimpse at her,

and I braved myself for the next 5 minutes.

My balls were cold.

Adrenaline level was all time high.

Never ever before,

I felt so appreciated,

appreciated with a simple smile.

As far as I'm concerned,

I'm passive and pessimistic.

Low self esteem, low confidence in myself.

She triggered the switch in me,

and sparked me up.

The moment lasted for a few minutes,

and I don't think I'll see her again.

I'm glad to have shared the moment with her,

moments which may have last for some time.

No one has ever take an initiative to smile at me,

as for a dumb boy like me, I tried multiple times but to no avail.

Perhaps women of my age are filled with egoism,

you can only expect a first smile from them,

given that you're rich or handsome.

This time around,

I really felt appreciated as a human.

Such wonder a simple smile can do to us,

what it can do to me ...

A smile,

totally magic !

Teenagers

Tunku Abdul Rahman - 31st Aug 1957

First of all, Merdeka! Well, the nation must be busy celebrating countdowns and travelling to countdown hot spots as the highway tolls were free of charge! Anyway, some were truly patriotic. However, my observation told me that the majority of them are just joining the fun for nothing.

Youngsters these days don't really know the true meaning of independence day though. My brother was one of them. Before the eve, he went to Genting Highland for a countdown session with his bunch of friends. While I was fetching him, Hitz.fm happened to air the tune of "Tanggal 31" which is one of our many Independence theme song. Within a fraction of a second, he tuned to Fly.fm as he felt sick listening to it. So, wow ..... countdown huh? What a "patriotic" fella. In fact, I was told to stop by 7-Eleven so that he could get a carton of Carlsberg as beers which are sold at the peak of Genting Highland are rather pricey.

Judging from the phenomenon above, I can't help but feel that these youngsters classified independence day as a reason to have some fun as parents would subsequently grant them freedom which they desire so desperately. As for me, I took time out for a futsal session with my friends. Perhaps, I guess I'm too old for these kinda hassles and tussles of countdown stuffs.

Sheer patriotism among teenagers? From my point of view, it has been fading since the generation before mine. Not only independence day, but any other public occasion would be a reason to con parents for freedom. In other words, youngsters are only interested in alcohol, tobacco and ego nowadays.

Long way to go, Malaysia. For the time being, I shall pause. Thus once again, Happy 53rd birthday Malaysia,

Internship

Team

Time flies. My industrial training will come to an end in a month's time. No doubt, I've learnt quite a number of lessons in my workplace. Apparently, I was summoned by my boss for a short meeting. Guess what, it turned out to be weakness pin-pointing session. He was smart by starting out with my strengths, but later lambasted my weaknesses in a terribly nice and wise way. The nouns and verbs he used were absolutely metophor.

The meeting lasted for about half an hour, of which the conversation was dominated by him. I was quite disappointed with the feedback as I was branded "the solo player", I don't play as a team, I play for myself, I work for myself. In other words, I work for myself instead of working and benefiting the organization as a whole. I put too much importance to only myself. I was such a bastard. My performance was top notch, but I sacrificed others.

I'm an avid football fan, a footballer for a club in my university, and of course, I have a football mentality. I applied the value which I've managed to harvest from the football field to school activities, but it was a shame that I didn't really manage to do that quite well in a working environment. Perhaps, there are too much at stake.

A lesson to learn, do not do things for your own benefit. Benefit the stakeholders as a whole, because everyone has a stake in a team. Star players don't win us game, only teams do.

Politic Football

Football Jersey Disputes

"JOHOR BARU: Muslims should know what to wear and what not to, Johor Mufti Datuk Tahrir Shamsuddin said.

He said a Muslim should not put on shirts or jerseys that had images of satan, alcohol and crests of other religions.

He said there was no need for a fatwa on the issue as “Muslims should know their boundaries”.
Tahrir was commenting on the controversy involving the Manchester United jersey, with several prominent Islamic scholars urging Muslims not to don the Premier League club’s jersey because the emblem features a devil.

“If Muslims want to show their support for their favourite teams, they should find a better way instead of wearing such a jersey,” he said.

Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria had said on Friday that jerseys with devils, crosses or skulls promoted the wrong values for Muslims but that did not mean they should be banned.

Apart from United, who are also known as The Red Devils, other football teams whose crests carry images deemed unIslamic like the cross are Brazil, Portugal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway.

A Malay daily recently quoted Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot as saying that wearing such jerseys were forbidden in Islam."

My view: Referring to comments made above, it's totally rubbish, ridiculous and ostentatious. These muftis are just too arrogant. Majority of my Muslim friends are fans of teams which are included above, typically Manchester United. Such unpleasant news might stir uneasiness not only nationwide, but worldwide. If Muslims can't even support Manchester United or Barcelona, the day for Muslims to play for the teams shall never come. Is that what the FAM want? Football is football. Politics shall not plague the world of football.


Source: Muslims should know what they wear

My First Date

JUNE 21st, 1.30am - That was my first day, on a a date with my dream supercar, and guess what? Unbelievably, in a Ferrari F430 Spyder! Fortunately, a friend of mine managed to borrow the prancing horse from his brother and gave my friends and I a very exciting experience. I was amused with the beauty of the particular Italian breed. The speed and sound of that V8 engine behind me is totally astonishing. The ride was totally 99.999% roller coaster. Travelling at a speed in excess of 200km/h with the top down was another crazy moment. A mesmerizing performance coupled with a stylish look really drives me insane. By just gazing at it, I fell in love more and more than ever before.

Well, I hope one day, I can own this Prancing Horse as well. Every sweat and effort is worth it if it's what it takes to own the Italian supercar. I can't say it's an every man's dream. But for me between woman and machine, I'll take that latter. It's ok to envy and If only I have one to play with. Resolution for this 20 years to come, a Rosso Corsa Scuderia definitely.

Reason

For everything we do on Earth, there must be a reason. Even if we do something for fun, that fun is already a reason. Recently, I felt really fed up with people's ignorant behavior. I came across with some scenarios of which I was questioned for something. But when I started to explain, the most probable answer that I would get is "Please Don't Give Me Excuses" or "I'm Sick of Your Excuses". What the fuck??? Oh c'mon, I was taught to think logically as a child, and thinking rationally translates into learning to reason. Reasoning is always a rational motive for a belief or action.

In this case, when I was denied the chance to explain the cause of that particular phenomenon, why bother questioning me? From what I know, reasoning is a state of having good sense and judgments on matters surrounding us. Without the word "reason", humans can't really expect themselves to live by the luxuries of technology defined by science nowadays. Matters must be justified by reasons similar to science which is defined by theories, formulas and equations.

Hence, if you're questioning me and deny me the right to explain, you should finger yourself upside down because that sounds more like an accusation than giving me a chance to reason. Even criminals do have a chance to reason in court.In every sense, I believe our lives are worth much more than those criminals. So, think twice before you question.

DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW!

Public Transport

Malaysia's Public Transportation System

Buses are as slow as tortoises,

Taxis are real extortionists,

Trains (KTM) are often late and and full,

Can't there be anymore upgrades and enhancements in these aspects?

Malaysia's public transporatation system is a real pain in the ass !

Responsibilities

For the first time, I screwed up my presentation in school. I didn't prepare well due to a severe fever which have lasted for 5 days. At first, I thought I could still give it a shot since I'm only given 5 minutes to talk. But as soon as I step onto the stage, I realised I brought the unedited slides. At that moment, I was forced to go on with the slides of wrong information. After a while, I lost the plot totally. My voice was soft. I didn't know what I was mumbling on the stage. I was numb. Eventually, I passed out. My group mates trusted me the most as I've done plenty of presentation of minimal flaws. It was my bad though as I never really gave my 100% in everything ... They might have forgiven me, but I just can't forgive myself for that donkey show. Neither I blamed my haywire health condition nor explained to anyone as there were signs of carelessness and clumsiness in within.

I've certainly forgotten what commitments and responsibilities are all about. This is the first time, but it'll be my last time. I will return stronger and vow not to disappoint people who believe in me again. And if I do, I'll suicide, I mean it. There must be no more room for error like this anymore, I swear !

Now, I finally understand, with great power, comes with great responsibility.

Make Time

Comfort Death

The night is still young, that's my life. Whether it's a night's out in clubs or revision for my exams, I just don't feel like sleeping. At 12am, there's still some 7 hours before the sun finally comes out. So, the night's young. Then, at 5am, there's still a long way to go before the sunset. In this case, the day's still young. The bad thing is, I tend to have the sense of feeling that sleeping is a guilt for not completing my unfinished tasks.

I often tell people that there's no such thing as "not enough time". We're given 24 hours a day in our lives. And if people still think that there are insufficient time to complete what they have to complete, then they should make time for it. As simple as it sounds, making time by not sleeping or sleep less is the best alternative. No doubt, I would die faster due to the accumulated fatigues. But that's what it takes. I always hope that I would die in my sleeps as I don't have to go through all the pain.

Think twice, isn't it nice to die in your sleeps? If you want a same finale like mine, let's sleep less and do more. It's an honour to die in comfort ~

Tiger Woo Hoo

ROOAARRR !!!

Tiger Woo Hoo? Not really. Drought season, scorching sun, hot weather, rising temperature and water shortages; this is the worst ever Chinese New Year I've endured. In other words, Tahun Baru Cina Yang Terlampau Bodoh dan Bosan Lagi PANAS. Certainly, 2010 is not my year. I'm a realistic guy, even the sum of my angpao shrunk ! To add insult to injury, I lost a few quids to the Genting casino as well. Indeed, I lost because I was optimistic, and of course, egoism. Regrettably, the Genting trip cost me a Tissot, and it started off with a RM100 jockey parking fee due to parking shortage. So if you want success in life, being hopeful and optimistic are not the way. No doubt, my rampant libido did me no good and I suffered quite a heavy blow from it. In a poker game, one must be selective and aggressive as well as realistic. One must not hope, as we can only hope to kill the hopeful ones. Be it a game of cards or your daily undertakings, don't ever hope. Realistic is the word. Therefore, be realistic. Year 2010 is the year of tiger. Hence, be careful and don't get bitten by it. Last but not least, Happy Chinese New Year ~ ROOARRR !

Definition of "Allah"

Language for All

Apparently, the latest conflict in my country, Malaysia is the usage of the term "Allah". Of course, churches have been attacked with some Molotov cocktails by some anonymous culprits. People especially conservative Muslims have been dwelling on this matter as the term is deemed to be exclusive only for the Muslims. So, ahh ... this is the latest dispute in my homeland which will most probably drive tourists and FDI's away.

As far as I'm concerned, "Allah" is the standard Arabic word for "God". It is widely used by Arabic-speakers of all Abrahamic faiths which includes Christians and Jews in reference to "God". On top of that, the Christian Arabs of today have no other words to refer to "God" other than "Allah". The same thing applies to other races. A portion Christian Chinese refers to "God" in their own language, Mandarin as : (神; pinyin: shén). In other words, it is pronounced as "shen". Therefore, is the word "shen" exclusive to the Chinese only? Be it "Allah" or "Shen", both of these words have the same meaning. After all, it's only a noun. If the vermins who attacked the churches wanted so much exclusivity for the word, why not give a special name to the God? They must distinguish "Kata Nama & Kata Nama Khas" very well. Well, unless education is what these poor chaps are lack of.

There's no way that we can deny the rights of others to use a secondary language. What's next then? Forbidden students from using English as it is not the national language? For so many years, many non-Muslim Malaysians have been saying "Allar, why this ...... ; Allah why that ...." and so on. Hence, it's totally a waste of time to have a court ruling as it's only an Arabic word. Worst of all, i repeat, it's only a NOUN a.k.a KATA NAMA in Arabic term. I don't care who's behind those dirty attacks, be it political or religious party, we learn KATA NAMA in Primary ONE, ya know?

Last but not least, I hope this crap can be resolved as soon as possible. No doubt, I'm worried I might get jailed for writing this as the Internal Security Act in Malaysia often arrest civilians for some super absurd and ostentatious reasons. Anyway, it's freedom of speech, and I'm going to utilize this to the fullest. For further information, please kindly refer to Wikipedia.

END